▼ Ironically ▲

“When you love someone, you just do. There are no maybes, no buts, and no whys.”

Tuesday, September 30 || 19:39

well..

2dae i got 2 moods bahx..

1 happy..(:

1 sad..):

i juz receive a call nw i

talking to joyce && seniors they all.

i duno why my tears

rolling dwn nw.

i duno.

anyw i duno 2dae why i so bad..

i some sort of qurallel wif ppl.

i nw very bad mood ..duno why..

to me, everting is sadness.

everting lost its meanings nw le.

i was duno why happy happy de tis mrng.

den i recess go find my seniors hahas..

eeni wearing specs funny funny de.

jking jking....

**sry sry forgot to jiayou jiayi && tx && all the ppl!!♥

hiie..

i nw using blog again.

dun feels lyk talking anymre le.

den nw i still talking

on phone wif joyce && sk

&& seniors they all loh.

they nw funny talking abt sk's problems.

haix..

joyce saying who got problems nw..

she is singing 'beautiful girls' nw.

lols!!

hahas..ltr she saw wat i wrote.

i die sia..

shhhhh.....(:♥

Saturday, September 27 || 15:54

okies...

ytd wAs the 1st day of exam for us.

i had the paper 1 of chinese & el.

well...for starters..i tink

it went quite well.

actually 2dae i wanted to borrow

geo notes frm old man de..

but..haix...

he still copying sia..

but tmr his notes is all mine!!

muhahahaha...lolx♥

&&..i cnt escape the fact tat i was jealous la..

cuz my bro bought the nokia 5610 loh!!

&&& den i dun hav loh..

& my parents all buyers de loh..

scold me nv scold hym de..

i wanna cry de..

tat's why i must study hard..

for myself...

for basketball...

for my hp...

for everyting i could hav thought of.♥

well...

i hope i could do well to go to 3a nxt year.

but i noe tat the journey

thr will be very difficult.

but since i had gone so far le,

why give up halfway nehx??

JIAYOU!!

every1 do ur best to show wat u got..

lovess ya♥

i didnt noe why i felt i was

the odd 1 out

when i ran through the photos juz nw..

seeing you && ur frens 2gether seems

so happy.

so happy tat i didnt wan to spoil tat feeling till nw.

i duno why..

but i tink u had hav great frens..

who will care,

protect,

&& most imptly not harm you.

i noe they could u too..

juz tat they have not shown it out yet.

if lion dont roar,

it will become hello kitty le.

haix..

i juz hope you will cherish them.

lovess them♥

for the past few days..

i tinking tat if i walks && walks on..

if i came to a road junction..

wat would i do??

would i go left?

right?

straight?

or stayed at whr i'm right nw?

is thr gng to be any ans?

wat will i do then?

why do i alwys have to cry?

is tis world always tat unfair to me?

well...

seeing u tis happy..

i hope tym could stopped here

4eva so ur smile will nv fades away.

♥mushroom lovess ya all♥

Monday, September 22 || 20:38

wana noe wat metinks??

hahas...lol

does love tales come true?

lols.............................

i rather brave the wind

&& rain alone.

you cn says i am avoiding bahx..

although i duno why i did

all tat..

i aso duno why i felt lyk

tat tat tym..

i noe i'm in the wrong all tis tym..

well...

i only cn says i'm sry but i

noe 'sry' dun anyting nw le..

metinks i hurt-ed alot of ppl le..

put all blames on me bahx..

tat's the way to be ma.

so be it even wat you tinks bahx..

i aso cnt forgive myself

for wat i'd created.

even i, myself,

pushes all blames on me le.

wat mre u wan says?

JEEPERS CREEPERS!!

!!!!!

...

nth la..(:

juz scaring scaring u all nia..

got heart-attack ma?!?

lols sia...so lame :b

i seeing if u all reading at my boggie closely ma..

testing u nia(:

am i afraid of losing

so i gave up?

is it true tat...

Once you lost sth,

it is gone forever??

tat could nv be found back?

well,..

2dae penguin ps me go hm study sia..

den i couldnt concentrate to study loh..

duno why..

den ernest keeps tapping my head..

ltr i stupid le i go find hym ar!!

muhahahahaha!!(:

lols sia..

sian loh...

haix i jope i could take pure physics

nxt year loh..

den after exams i cn so

sentosa le!!!

me so so so

happy happy sia!!(:

Friday, September 19 || 11:12

lyk i said...

i;m juz lyk a drifting bottle..

drifting & drifting to a unknown place..

whr i'm juz a stranger to them..

penguin, i missed you so much...

but ltr i cn see you le i so happy..

dun worry,...

mushroom is here

'TA-DAA'!!

see hehex...

i'll help you to solve any hard nut

tat are difficult to crack for you.

i noe wushu de..

hahas...

i say lyk i super mushroom sia..

do you noe sth?

i'm very emo nw):

but i duno why..

i called you but u didn't ans but nvm i noe cuz penguin very

busy doing work de ma..

must trust urself tat you cn do well horx..

the same goes for the rest of you all aso..

JIAYOU!!(:

haix....

drift....drift...to a unknown place..

but is tat place rite for me?

i'm lyk holding a fake hand.

a hand tat nv holds back.

a heart tat are meant to be broken?.?

Given my personality,

i'll juz wears every1 dwn..

i cant help crying though i duno why..

sometimes,

tings not within our control cn be helped.

i aso wish i could control all those

unhappy tings

&& throw them into a rubbish bin..

haix..but i couldnt..control

i cant blame you if you

do anyting wrong.

after all, .. ..

it is my fault..

it is a fact you cant change.

i'm aso the 1 giving you stress

&& trouble.

why is every1 not picking up their phone 2dae?

haix..nvm

nw elephant angry wif me le..

duno why..

my com very slow && cnt load msn tat's

why i nv reply ma...

okies okies..i'm sry okies?

although 'sry' cant mend anyting

or makes everyting rite again but

wat am i supposed to do?!?

if i would to cry, will you let me be?

if i would to hurt myself once again, will you let me be?

if i were to do tings to ignore you cuz you hut urself too,

will you try to stop me?

'if'...

if those 'ifs' are gng to happen,

wat are you gng to do?

pls dun hurt urself anymre cn?

ppl around will only worries for you instead!!

only real frens will lead you to do tings rite.

wat must i do to makes you understand?

wat cn i do?

ltr i gng pl but before tat i gng to cut hair.

cuz penguin wanna cut so i go cut wif her loh.

lols...

hope my auntie wont cut till

short hair bahx..

god bless...

Thursday, September 18 || 14:57

ello...

i at com lap,

blogging!!

hahas...

shhh...

i bored ma.

nth else to do,'den tink of blogging loh..

'hehes...

sercet horx..

doing the pw project loh nw...

sian sia..

haix loh..lols(:

nw i at yahoo loh,

searching for pics..

hahas..

a lot pics sia.

but i dun understand showing wat..hohox

hehex..

hahax..

lols lols...

so less pics sia...

oh ya...

&& joyce the penguin nt here sia..

i missed her..

shr taking her passport pic...

ltr call her talk talk hahas..

see how she taking her pic..

comfirm funny funny de.

cuz she will fake fake smile

when she dun feels lyk smiling de..

hahas..

can't wait sia(:

but, ..

i missed her... ):

haix...

but she sms me in the mrng..saying

'yo...'

lols..

ltr maybe i teaching ppl how to count 'abc'..

hahas jking la...

i teaching maths,

ohoh,

i tio caught bt nvm..

she aso dun care dun care de..(:

hahas nw i duno at wat wedsite sia..

i dun care anyw..

qy here wif me...

she said...

'nth, bye, go out.'

hahas...

she gone out le...

owwww..

buais..hehes..

PENGUIN!

I MISS YOU!! <33

tx here...

'HELLOS"!!!!

tat's all she said...

lolss.........................

Tuesday, September 16 || 16:47

i'm currently staring into blank space.

i duno wat else mre to do le.

1 mre ppl slash agn!

cn stop ma?!?

cn i ma?!?

let me do it wif you all cn?!?

do it together la?!

2dae,

joyce & i almost qurallel sia.

i duno why..

maybe cuz i giving her attitude bahx..

nw,

sotong aso duno why wanted to go back le.

i duno wat did i did wrong?

well..sry

but sry cnt mend a broken heart.

when i knew you slash 2dae,

i didn't knew wat to says.

i juz walked away bahx..

haix..

juz wat did you all wan to do?

slash, slash slash!!

vincent played the canon 2dae!!

walao loh..

so nice aso(:

haix .. ..

i duno why but i so emo 2dae.

i thought i must happy happy de.

but i went hm early 2dae...

dun feel lyk staying at pl or outside bahx..

cuz joyce went hm early aso den..

i alone de..

so i rather go hm.

so i cn cry it all all out.

i duno why i felt very terrible juz nw & even nw.

i feel i so useless,

wanting to change a person,

bt end up the

person wan to change back le..

but says,

i aso in no position to talk or change any1 la..

least says changes any1..

hahas..

i cnt even tc myself den why i

so nosy go care others nehx?!?

den care le so wat?

ppl will juz hate me..

but as long as i nv reply or anyting..

i only blames myself..

only me, myself.

haix...

so i hope all of u all stop slashing cn?

you wish to slash den

why nt juz take a chopper?!?

so...

juz stop cn?!

i dun wish to slash bt seeing you

all slashing 1 by 1.

i duno wat else to do

but juz stared in space,

looking speechless..

my young wise penguin once said,

slashing somwhw will get

addicted de..

well...i tink it's true.

Once u tink by slashing

cn solve any problems,

den gone case le..

den whenever you got problems,

den take penknife..

"slash"

den i see blood will faint de leh..

unless you wan me to faint infront of you la!!

lolz...

okies i juz telling you all to stop cn?

pls la! ..

i alr cnt control sometimes le

but seeing u all

slash 1 by 1..

wa!!

haix...

i suppose happy happy 2dae de ma?

haix..

mushroom soon

will got winkes le...

i tio sunburn sia!!

'ouch' 'ouch'!!

pain sia..):

but i didn't brk promises though..

i didn't..(onlu little only horx!!)

i happy happy de!!

rite?!?

isn't tat wat i promised?!

but last tym, .. ..

i noe i broke them le..

& by saying sry cnt mend everting.

lyk a broken heart.

i noe...

i..............................................

i rly duno wat else u all

trying to show me through

torturing urself le.

pls dun hurt urself cn?!?

promise me cn?

i give watever you wanted me to do!!

stop cn?

i rly cnt take it..

Monday, September 15 || 19:52

i duno wat's wrong wif every1 2dae sia..

all so emo emo de.. :(

all slash here slash thr de!!

fun arhx?!?

u noe by doing tat

u are juz influencing me!!

i dun tell u i got anot,

bt cn u all stop ma?!?

u all are juz telling

me to use tis as excuse

to solve my problems .. ..

or juz letting me to slash whenever

i sad sad or emo emo la!!

is it?!

2dae all of you all do it infront of me somemre.

elephant, ..

sotong, ..

&& even penguin!!

hahas..

gd ting i very GUAI de!!(:

yar yar,

when you emo, crying

i walked away.

but do you noe after tat wat happened to me?!

i was lyk anyting aso dun wan eat den i juz

take when bag & ran off.

tat tym,

joyce was very angry i noe.

sry bahx..

bt i cant help it bt run away frm

evey1!

then,

elephant came loh..

saw me ran away crying

den quickly followed me le loh.

i duno y joyce was lyk damn

angry loh..

den i heard she go bkshop

buy penknife i quickly rushed dwn.

e auntie aso said she bought e

penknife le.

i was tinking..

darned it la!!

i aso wanted to buy bt i didn't in the end.

i duno y.

mayb cuz i had alr promised ppl nt to do so le bahx..

BUT Y DO U PPL

STILL BRK THE PROMISES U

GAVE ME!?!

are you all trying to tell me

tat i aso shld brk mine too.

although,

in e past i broke alot!

scold me la!!

alll my fault sia!!

pls pls dun says it is not la!!

stop changing the facts cn?!?

dun bluff urself even if u wana bluff me!!

No USE de!!

somehw i manage to struggled through

all the obstacles bahx..

bt nw,

i'm trapped in a glass bottle.

if i wanted to brk free,

i must brk the glass 1st.

but the glass will cut

all the ppl ard it when it became

shattered.

so ppl around me will get hurt

juz lyk wat i said.

a burden to add on other ppl only.

nth is gng rite for me!

every1 around is juz showing me slashing will

solve all problems!!

so,

you tink i happy happy rite?!?

fine.

tink wat you tink loh.

is you not me ma.

i anyting la..

you says i happy den so be it loh.

i happy let you

see wan ma?!?

2dae,

i knew tat i am juz a bad person only.

only got lots & lots

of ppl hate me only ma.

i noe.

so be it.

i only got bad tings ma.

i duno wat's wrong la..

wat's the freaking problem wif me la!!

wat's my problem nw!?!

u ppl only will says

dun care dun care.

but u all may cn,

bt i juz cant..

mayb i different bahx..

i attitude after all..

i hope my bottle will nt brk so it will

forever be inside me.

even if it brks,

let the glass only pierce

through me bahx..

i 2dae went to ply bb..

but joyce went hm early

saddened sia..

bt we won them!! hahas(:

me, elephant,

ian,

yong chin ...

&& xiao pang(:

hahas..

the coach funny sia(:

okies..

i hope i not so emo emo

tmr bahx...(:

Sunday, September 14 || 15:30

it was my mistake tat led to others'

mistakes in the 1st place.

it's as if my heart died a sudden death.

Using a ruler to cut gently,

will only leaves a scratch thr.

But using a penknife,

it's different,

as it will leaves a

permanent, deep scar thr wif you 4eva.

No matter how hard i try,

i juz couldn't forget wat i did to you.

un-forget-able bahx..

not able to earse them.

nvm..

tis way,

i'll noe how i much i stand.

I had to put on a strong front,

even though i'm crying deep inside.

Since 'if' has alr taken place,

no1's fault except mine shld be entertained.

i hope to have a pair

of fake wings,

to fly away frm here.

well, ..

let me tell you you had succeeded le..

nw i very happy ma.

smiling everdae nw ma..

cant you see?!?

Do you noe how i felt whenever

i saw ur frens?

They juz reminded me wat i did

to you tat makes you until nw.

i treated you bad last tym?!?

Some1 told me to

not care since i did nth wrong,

but did i?

i love walking in the rain cuz no1 noe i'm crying

in silent.

Touching my face,

i could feel the warm tears

instead of the cold rain.

i alyws had tings bottling up my heart.

day by day,

it all adds up to a huge bottle.

i wish some1 will cum & brk

tat glass bottle so i cn

fly away freely.

but i tink & tink,

i dun wan brk it better.

i dun wan to add to others' ppl problems le.

not anymre le.

a lot of tings happened for the last 2 days,

haix...

duno shld i talk abt it ma..

tis fri,

i cried

Wednesday, September 10 || 21:32

i lost my pencilcase todae sia..

so saddened loh..

darned it loh...anyw..

i duno why nowadays

iso EMO-tional sia .. ..

haix...

sian loh...

i keeps losing myself in the mist.

losing control of my ownself sia.

i rly duno la.

tat's y i thought

of torturing myself??

lols...

u wouldn't wan to noe bahx...

hahas...

my horo says to give myself mre

tym to explain tings..

mayb tats better?

i duno la...

& so i'll impart a

deeper understanding..

lols sia...

& it is true sia..

i somehw explain until

tongue-tie sia..opppsss(:

If you dun believe in wishes,

will they still come true in the end?

juz lyk wat'll happen in a fairytale

story?

a happy ending will it be??

well.....

i not god so i duno de..

but i'm MUSHROOM!!

hahas(: ...

I thought hvng thr worst fever of

my life was bad enough..

now, i'm heartsick bahx...

duno la..

anyhw writes de(:

but thr's no good

medicine for it though.

You're juz lyk a memory

tat nv fades.

A deep scar,

tat'll remain foever.

chim rite?

hahas..

i anyhw write de.

i writes for the fun of writing(:

I noei cant use the past to restrict

you anymre.

the past is longer the past?

is tis true?!?

i wish some1 woul juz tell me,

at leaat tells me wat i

doing nw..

correct ma?

to stop myself frm being lyk nw,

wat the hell i cn do?

wat do i wan?

do i seems happy nw?

LALALALALA

dots .. ..

well, ..

juz smiling as i cn nw bahx...

am i juz a soft toy?

to be pushed around,

when or whr you wan?

am i lyk tis?

nvm...

i'l juz smile everydae(:

no matter wat i am treated as.

i'll juz be who i'm...

MUSHROOM!(:

haahs...

*shurg*(:

*hmmp*(:

Saturday, September 6 || 17:52

let all blames ends wif me bahx .. ..

i had made wrong promises.

everting has lost its meanings le.

it is too late le..

wat i am gonna do to myself,

i dun even noe myself nw.

i'm juz a stranger to myself only...

a stupid & useless ppl only.

i duno wat gng to happen

to myself,

cuz i duno &

dun even wan to noe & care abt myself le.

i'm sry..

i didnt mean to hurt you de

i juz tink i'm being too

nosy le..

caring abt others

when i'm in a bad situation myself..

HAHAS!!

why am i so stupid?

crying?!?

wat use!!?

i was so stupid loh..

cnt even help myself..

least even help others..

i shldnt interfer into

any1's life le..

i'll only ruin them only..

nth good will cum out de anyw..

they aso dun need me ma

i only hopr to

lighten their smiles everydae as i could only bahx..

i will only hurt the deeper & deeper only .. ..

i duno why i seems to be failing dwn

but i cant even stand up anymre le..

duno why..

maybe juz i useless bahx..

i only hope to get back my

hyper hyper character soon bahx...

i sooner or later will fall soon de..

i soon will not be able to stand..even myself..

seeing i was so stupid..

once,

thr's a person who said i was naive.

but maybe he was wrong..

i was stupid..