▼ Ironically ▲

“When you love someone, you just do. There are no maybes, no buts, and no whys.”

Sunday, November 30 || 19:17

You said we were further & further away from yooe lerrs.

But did yooe even tnks abt wat

yooe're gng to do before

doing them?

Do yooe noe tat for some actions

& reasons yooe'll cuz some1 who cares a lot &

the 1 who all tis while tried soooooo

hard to not make yooe

walks tis path?

But, .. in the end,

yooe still walked tis path ..

& do yooe noe how much yooe had

hurt her as well as yooe

& ppl ard yooe?!?

i missed the old yooe.

Do yooe even tink 1st before doing those tings.

Maybe tat's why we were so far from yooe?

Cuz yooe only noe how to keep urself away from us.

& didn't even tells us why

are yooe doing tis & wat's the reason.

Do yooe ever tinks how we will

react knowing tis.

How disappointed & hopeless

we felt lyk?

well, .. for me at least. );

Before yooe says tat our

friendship are gng further & further.

Tink of wat's the problems causing tis 1st.

But watever yooe do,

did i blame yooe for doing tat?

Did i ever?!?

Even if i'm angry,

i'll only tell myself..

it's my fault after all.

i'm 1 of ur bestest of the best fren of urs .. ..

But i can't stop yooe from doing so.

Do yooe noe how useless i felt lyk ..

noe tat yooe did so.

I felt useless & sooo disappointed.

After all,

after wat yooe promised,

after wat we frens had been through,

after always gng ply bb together,

after always been playful together,

after all tis while,

i thought yooe would change for once.

But yooe didn't.

For tat instance,

did yooe knew i cried?

Cried badly,

i'm ur fren but failed to stop yooe.

.. i noe yooe'll says yooe only play play,

only for fun,

will stop derrs,

will not addict derrs.

BUT!!!

Once yooe said it'a for fun too.

Yooe EVEN promised to stop it.

hahas .. for tat moment,

i believed yooe.

But not any mre since yooe broke tat promise.

But now,

Are yooe gng to let history repeats itself?

Again?

But tis tym i learnt sth.

To not put too much hope into sth.

it's good to have confidence.

But, ..

if yooe put too much hope into it ..

.. & if it didn't happened after all.

Yooe will feels so terrible & pain inside.

Upon knowing it could happen anymre,

Why put hope in it?

But tink again ..

miracles do happens.

.. & sometym tym will proves everting i said.

Looking back to the pictures we once took,

i somehow missed the old times we had together.

Dun yooe?

Rmb the time at the hospital?

We played wif the cone cup.

i pretended it was a hat.

i put on top of my head.

Then,

i looked lyk a clown.

Hahahas .. still rmb marrs?

If yooe missed those times,

tat means yooe will tink back too,

isn't it?

So before yooe plans to do anyting stupid,

could yooe promised me

to tink of those fun times we had together wif sk too,

before doing wat yooe tinks is fun

.. & while it's not at all.

could yooe promised me so?

i walked into an empty room,

a empty room juz lyk my heart.

My mind's empty,

so is my heart.

i noe i couldn't

take any mre promises ..

.. & breaks them lerrs ..

❤ Pls Leave Ur Footprints When You Leaves.

Saturday, November 29 || 20:13

Can yooe live without me? ❤

Juz wat yooe were before yooe met me?

A life full wif meanings?

❤ Could yooe?

If yooe could,

.. i wish to bless you wif all i could.

i aso wish yooe could escape from all tis now,

& be juz lyk before.

As happi as ever.

Rly .. i do.

I wish yooe eternal happy-ness forever.

.. but not wif me.. ); .... x/3

i hope yooe will learn to let go so yooe'll stop hurting

urself lyk tat.

i duno how i managed to say all tis.

i aso duno wat made me say all tis too.

i juz couldn't says all tis infront of yooe.

❤ i juz couldn't.

.. & sry for hurting yooe all tis while.

I wished all tis could hurting .. both of us.

i juz hope tis word 'hurt' will disappear

frm ur minds as well as mine. ❤

Could tis end the suffering for yooe?

❤ Rewinding back to the past,

it was happiness as well as sadness too.

But both i'll keep. ❤

As both are my dearest memories.

I tink i decided to do tis as i hope to stop

tis hurting ting as quickly as possible.

Each day as i talked to yooe,

i felt lyk i was juz owning yooe too much.

I couldn't do all tis anymre. ❤

Although sometimes i do needs yooe ..

but tis doesn't matters anymre.

i juz didn't noe wat to do in return to stop yooe from suffering.

Although yooe didn't say yooe were, ..

but i knew it all along.

Dun tell me it isn't true.

I juz hope yooe'll find some1 better than me.

.... Who noe how to cherish yooe mre than any1 in tis love.

❤ Tat's wat yooe call true love.

Rmb yooe told me before?

Tat's true love is a feeling tat won't fade so easily?

Yooe den said mine wasn't true at all.

Cuz if it was,

it wouldn't had fade so easily.

.. so quickly.

well, .. ❤

for an moment i was tinking how to ans yooe back.

i was stunned for tat instance too.

x/3 .. Tat's the tym we lost confidence wif each other.

Considering tat i was juz playing playing.

For tat instance i was devastated.

No1 believed wat i said. ❤

i juz felt it all so wrong.

But others said so it wasn't true then.

i knew for tat period yooe were suffering too.

Juz tat yooe acted tough only.

But i wasn't tough or brave.

❤ i was alwys the 1 crying.

Tis is not ur fault but mine.

i was the 1 hurting yooe lyk tis 1st.

Tat's why i came to a decision.

❤ Since i hurt yooe in the 1st place.

Why still waste tym on me?

Yooe are only making me so guilty only but nth esle.

For every moment yooe told me 520 ..

i didn't say anyting else but tried to act lyk nth.

It's not tat i couldn't feel it,

it's juz tat i couldn't take it. ❤

I have been tinking since i hurt yooe in the 1st place,

but shouldn't yooe juz let go?

I noe how hard it is to let go so such relationship

since so much had happened to us.

But, ..❤ how could yooe still hang on?

.. & juz pretended i'm juz lyk last tym?

Well .. i'm not anymre.

Ppl did tell me i changed.

i had been wanting to change back.

❤ Slowly, i'm back to my cheerfulness &

always acting tough.

But .. ❤

is it inside same as my outside?

Yooe shld be reading until

here lerrs ba?

i'm sry to hurt yooe lyk tis.

i noe yooe'll start emoing again after yooe

finish reading lerrs.

Den ur frens will start caring for yooe again lerrs.

Juz lyk old times rite? ❤

Juz lyk returning to last tym whr ur frens loved yooe so much.

❤ Having their warmth & caring wif yooe,

whrever yooe goes.

i noe yooe are very sad now lerrs after reading all tis.

Yooe said yooe're happi tat i said out tings.

But yooe're not now lerrs, aren't i rite?

Yes, i am.

Aren't yooe all quiet & emo now?!?

DUN TELL ME NO! x/3

Even if yooe says no,

dun tink i would not noe.

Den yooe'll start wondering if i knew tis

will happen,

why do i still writes all tis?

well ..

i duno ..

But can yooe dun act infront of me? ❤

Ur voice & all tells me all lerrs.

❤ Dun need hide anyting frm me.

Do yooe tinks i rly stupid?

or juz trying to cover it up?

Frm ur voice i noe everyting. x/3

Yooe feels lyk everting yooe do,

aso cnt helps anyting.

YOOE ARE WRONG!

Yooe already helped me a lot a lot lerrs.

Juz tat yooe urself keeps telling urself

yooe hadn't done enugh yet.

❤ Am i rite?

i juz felt tired after so many tings had happened to me.

❤ i'm sry.

i'm already hopeless lerrs.

i noe inside it'll keeps on telling yooe

to give up on me lerrs.

Juz give up on her lerrs ba.

i noe .. .. );

yooe only needs some1 who'll treat yooe better?

..& i dun tink i'm the 1.

i only brought yooe unhappiness.

Face it. ❤

i duno how to give up too.

Do yooe noe how much it hurts inside too? );

❤ Pls Leave Ur Footprints When You Leaves.

Friday, November 28 || 22:36

❤ When you said tat,

did you ever regrets them befoore?

Did yoooe? ❤

For tat moment,

i was juz tinking how useless & helpless i once was. ❤

Yooe are always thr making ppl laugh.

While me?

❤ .. i'm making ppl smile & happi happi derrs,

but inside i'm somehow feeling very ..

all stucked up. ❤

Can't seem to breathe within the surroundings.

I duno why but i was crying in the mrng.

i couldn't help it.

❤ .. it juz flowed out.

It's not tat i dun wish to care.

.. it's juz tat i feels so tired struggingly thr

.. alone. ❤

Now tat yooe're here to help her,

.. i cn juz let go now.

couldn't i? ❤

❤ i noe i couldn't fool yooe wif my tears.

Ppl will then start asking questions tat yooe duno

how to ans.

den yooe'll feel lyk why are they asking yooe all those

questions when yooe dun even noe, rite?

❤ Tat was in the past.

Now's the future.

Although i had hurt yooe agn & agn,

i could only says i'm sry. ❤

I couldn't give yooe anyting at all.

Yooe cn only be thr for me when i needs it.

But in return,

.. i couldn't give yooe back anyting in return.

❤ .. But stay happy.

❤ Pls Leave Ur Footprints When You Leaves.

Thursday, November 27 || 21:35

yipeeeee .. .. ❤

2day we won bedok north (:

the score is .. .. ..

75-54

hahas(: we won i so happppppppi. ❤

i shot in 4 points.

❤ super duper happpppi derrs lo.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ..

1 is shoot derrs.

derrs other 1 is i intercepted theirs' ball ..

.. & i lay up ..

den in derrs. ❤

but so tie ko derrs lo.

but still i so happpppi lorrs!

hahas(:

Our last quarter is seniors to seniors derrs.

But eventually our group is ..

3 small derrs juniors.

2 biggie derrs seniors.

❤ .. & me included!

i happpi but aso tired.

hahas .. ❤

❤ Tmr is the last day for my a maths tution lerrs.

i learnt a lot but aso stress myself out too.

hahas .. ❤

nvm after 2day i cn relax & let loose lerrs.

❤ roars!

starting nxt week we almost everyday got bb match lerrs.

&&& i so happppppi aso! (: ❤

❤ Pls Leave Ur Footprints When You Leaves.

Tuesday, November 25 || 20:59

Tis pix so cuteeee ❤

2day we won raffles girls.

I so happy! ❤

We all won as 1.

Work as 1 too.

But, .. alost all of us were sick 2day.

Plus 2day the injuries were

quite badly too.

But We won .. ..

66 - 61 ❤

Den tmr i gng my tution agn ler.

Tis week last week lerrs.

i sooooo happy lor.

hahas .. cuz i'm very tired for

tis 2 weeks lerss.

Actually joyce asked me tmr go ply bb derrs.

i wish i could too.

But .. sry i can't.

i gtg to go help my parents.

Go tution.

Gng tution plus transport needs abt 5 hrs.

ard 2 gng to take bus .. den ard 7 plus den rch hm.

AFter all tis ..

i got to study to prepare myself.

physics,

chinese,

.. & maths.

Imagine doing tat everyday!

Till now i still so tired,

pain as injured too,

.. & confused. ❤

Is thr needs for an reason for love? ❤

Is thr needs for an reason for watever i had done?

Is thr needs for an reason for anyting done by you?

Is thr needs to be responsible for anyting you've done?

Do you even regrets doing tings you done before? ❤

i dun wan to face everting by myself. ❤

i dun wish to too.

But i too dun wana any1's help.

Stop asking me tis.

Asking me tat lerrs.

Cuz i won't tell derrs. ❤

i juz had to face it ..................❤................. alone.

But, .. do i have any choices lerrs ma?

How do i decides choices?

Cn i escape frm everting?

.. & hide away? ❤

i noe we'll have to face life bravely.

Juz believe in fairy tales if

you tinks they existed. ❤

To me,

❤ .. it doesn't matters anymre lerrs.

❤ Pls Leave Ur Footprints When You Leaves.

Monday, November 24 || 21:28

ytd,

we lost our match at uwc.

26-44

well ,

it was very sad.

i tink cuz all of us were sick barrs.

All not feeling well too.

Tmr we got match at ccab too.

against raffles girls.

Lyk i said last tym.

i love tis song cuz ..

love is juz lyk a puzzle.

easy to start.

but difficult to stop.

Tis few days,

a lot of tings happened.

Some i had to face them alone.

Ppl says for past tis 2 years a lot tings had happened.

& i agreed too.

ppl do change derrs.

Instead of regret,

Why not accept?

How to untie a knot in my heart,

without cutting it?

Walking across piles of rocks,

you'll not noe when you'll

fall when you take another step.

A heart trapped 1 day,

will be released.

Why do you lied to me lyk tat?

Do you even tink & feels wat i eould tink if i knew.

You promised but broke it!

.. i admit i too brk promises but you sighed.

How could you?

i feel so tired now.

.. & no1 could understand wat i'm gng through.

supporting everyting,

so it won't fall & break.

But wat do i get?

i'm so tired for tis past few days did any1 even notice?

i dun wan to spare any free tym

to tink stupid tings or even do them.

All i ever wanted is for every1 to be happy.

heathly.

& not hurt urself so you cn cherish urself.

i tried so hard to make you all smile,

but all i get is tis?

Do you ever tinks of tis before?

How hurt i'll be?

.. & all i wanted is you all ..

to love urself.

So does tat means whenever i tink is fun

or i very sad,

i could do them too? );

Friday, November 21 || 11:50

SIAN DIAO.. ..

NOW AT COM LAP.

VINCENT & JACK HERE.

Joyce said go to her sis's blog

to link her.

cuz last tym we both lyk sth.

DAMN ps derrs lo.

hahas... dun tell any1 if they still duno de.

hahas .. say out le even worst sia.

'_'

ltr i still must go for tution lo.

at bukit batok.

For A maths tution.

...

now stupid jackky here.

damn irritating!!!

hellos! tx here . i'm lame . muhahas.

Pen9uiin here..go link my sis lehh!!
><

mushroom here. okies larrs

Saturday, November 15 || 11:57

okies okies ..

i make the skin wrongly agn!

damn fed-up sia!!

duno why tis few days lyk tis.

... ltr come back den redo le.

change blogskin ltr.. (;

okies okies.

so i changed it lerrs.

But, .. still not so nice sia.

nvm lorrs bo bian anyw.

dun feel lyk using com le.

nxt tym i blog agn then redo ba (:

hahas ..

So 2day,

.. you called me?

& asked why didn't i called you 1st?

i've been tinking so much tings since tat day.

I tink it's all my fault.

sry bahx..

tat's all.

i had already nth to say lerrs.

I duno wat to say to you.

I juz dun wish to say out bahx ..

& you might says i'm selfish ..

... so be it. ❤

Friday, November 14 || 20:08

♥ Lyk i said last tym,

tat tym the final piece of the puzzle is finally fitted in.

♥ ;x

♥ i'm sry.

♥ L.O.V.E

♥ could be fixed?

She ♥ hym,

.. even mre than me. -- having thought of tis i cried, .. cried badly. -- ♥

Almost all her attention,

was on hym.

Am i juz lyk a human? -- No1 will ever understands de ;x --

♥ Now i finally noe how yooe tinks,

& feels lerrs.

Do you understand wat i meant already?

Having i already been hurting you too

much le? -- HVNT I?!? --

I duno how much longer i & you could stand.

I juz noe i'm feeling lyk,

.. I'm gng to collapse anytym le. ♥

I noe you're always giving in to me.

Bearing me.

But, .. cn you stop it?!?

Tis way, .. i'll feel even mre guilty.

♥ No1 understands wat i gng through now.

I felt lyk i couldn't take it anymre.

.. & i noe you're feeling the same way too.

♥ ........ Or even worse than me.

But why you could take it,

& i can't?!?

It's cuz, ..

I'M WEAK!! x/3 );

I'M USELESS!!

I noe i'm juz as useless anyw ..

i could been thrown away. ♥

I always tell myself,

♥ .. let's juz look forward & keep walking.

But tis small little ting i aso can't do it.

Once some1 told me,

tat i must be strong.. lyk a bull. ♥

I told her,

1st: i not as fat as a bull. ♥

2nd: i not so big-sized. ♥

3rd: i dun eat grass grass. ♥

But ..

4th: i loveeeees red. <33

Nxt, .. i told her, ' I'll be a strong mushroom who loveees red! '

Then, she laughed.

♥ At 1st, i was glad she laughed, which means she's happy.

But now, ..

Everting changes. x/3

' I'm not strong in the 1st place. ' ♥

I aso once promised myself tat no matter wat.

♥ ' Dun Look Back, Not To Hide & Not To Be Afraid Of The Ending. '

But i can't do it.

I Still Looked Back. ♥

I Still Hides From Reality & Runs Away & Crys. ♥

I Still Am Afraid Of The Ending,

.. Till Now. ♥

How i wished I Could Break Free Frm Everting Now.

I guess forever isn't as long as it used to be ............................... is it? ♥

I'm sry i couldn't give you wat you wans & needs.

But instead,

.. hurting you lyk tis.

♥ My Smile Was Already Taken Away.

But i'm still standing,

juz lyk every1 else & you.

Now am i lost? ♥

Lost in my own thoughts?

I'm rly rly confused now.

I dun dare to cry infront of my frens );

When they are with me,

& talking abt us,

♥ i was juz holding back my tears.

Trying hard not to let my tears out. ♥

... Tis's not rubbish! ..

I'm not talking the rubbish!

It's the truth!! ♥

Dun believe it's okies.

But as long as i noe it's the truth can le.

Tat's enough for me lerrs. ♥

& i dun expect anyting great or anyting frm you anymre lerrs.

As long as i noe i'm believing myself.

♥ It juz broke in sweet silence.

-- I noe you tink tat all tis i talking abt is all crap. --

But how can i explain all tis?

-- Can yooe find the maze out of my heart? -- ♥

♥ Smile Boldly Even If Fall