▼ Ironically ▲

“When you love someone, you just do. There are no maybes, no buts, and no whys.”

Tuesday, September 29 || 21:15

saw sk cry today.

I am always seeing th strong side of her.

but today,

i was so stunned when she dropped th tears.

She thought me how to vent out anger & despaired in another better way.

Gees, thanks. :x

When someone appears to be strong on th outside,

he/she tends to shows th soft side mre easily.

SK, just want yooe to now that yooe're gng to be alright.

Not to worry much.

Just concentrate on your studies now.

Yooe can do it if yooe chase that dreams of yours.

Do not ever ever CRY agn. :B

i dun wan th same stupid ting to happen ever agn.

I still rmb th details.

how afraid it was.

& how hard it is to dry those tears.

I didn't dared to say or look straight in ur eyes.

As i was crying.

I dun wan others to know that i'm crying.

so i would always be smiling, no matters wat happenes. :D

heh.

Seriously,

i really dk why for that moment of tym when yooe told me ---,

i was so scared & dk wat to do.

I went away and cried in that corner.

Ltr on,

yooe found me and said it's was alright but i was still crying.

I was so stunned.

Now,

i hope everything is fine.

At least it looks that way now.

I noe now he is rushing to complete his poa tingy & fnn.

Jiayouus. :x

unexpected

Monday, September 28 || 21:35

I didn't expect things to turn out this way.

didn't knew that thr will be such an ending.

Guess all along i was rite,

i was just me.

Tmr's th paper,

gd luck everyone.

Hari raya day

Monday, September 21 || 15:56

Went for brkfast & rent a dvd for th whole family to watch later.

Is 'eragon'.

Lols, is kennt chose de.

hahas.

Tmr got school le,

& very soon is E-O-F le.

I'm not sure if i am alr prepared. D;

But i'll try.

Head home with kenny to do finish hw.

Finally completed chinese and el is finishing soon le.

yipee. :D

beliving

Sunday, September 20 || 17:44

yayy.

Bought a new bag today.

yipee, yipee yayy!

wakakaaks.

Went for brkfast in th mrng, as usual.

Kenny & mommy went home.

Cause kenny not feeling well.

So ate medicine le went home sleep le lorrs.

Haix, saddened.

Body so weak ar!

hahas.

Bluffed mommy, hehes.

shhhh. :B

AFter that went to j8.

Wanted to collect my phone back from servcing de,

but not yet done!

wat th f la.

Damn f-ing pissed off lo.

So long liao.

More than one week le sia.

I miss my Phone!~ D;

Went to amk & bought my bag.

didn't knew which one to buy,

so called babyy.

Guess great minds tink alike.

We both chose th same one. :D

After that went to my daddy's workplace for very long.

He called me.

& talked, but not for long. D;

Ate lunch & headed home.

Seriously,

idk if th problem is lying with me.

We just seems to be not able to talk & communicate with each other anymore.

Unlike th past,

we couldn't find any topics to talk on.

and thought that pushing each other to frens will be better.

Well, is it any better?

There's seems to be a HUGE gap between each other now.

Just like a barrier that is seperating us.

It seems so different now.

Guess it's just that yooe has ur things to be completed,

and i have mine toos.

I'll just try to assume that is th reason.

i tink now we are being left alone by each other.

We didn't even talked on th phone like in th past.

We can even not talk for 1 day without yooe knowing so.

idk, it's just mee.

idk why yooe are so hot-tempered this days.

I just wanted to cheer yooe up.

I sounded moody as i was still unwell, rmb?

I just guessed that things are not th same anymore. D;

But i'm still here,

believing yooe.

Always Mantaining A Smile.

Saturday, September 19 || 13:41

"Just afraid of letting go, letting go",

"just let go".

This song is rather,

affectionate.

No words could describle wat mee is feeling inside.

I miss my phone.

I miss everything.

Will it come to an end?

It seems to be becoming a trend now.

It's like, happening to everyone now.

I was just wondering,

whether we could be th next ones.

When we are strike,

please do not ever leave me.

I don't want all these things to EVER occurs.

Nope, i don't wish to.

Where am i when yooe needed me most?

Happily eating with friends.

Maybe it's just mee.

I'm sorry i wasn't there when i'm needed.

Somehow i could feel that yooe hopes i would be more like 'her'.

I dhun blame anyone, but myself.

i didn't put in enough effort.

i didn't do much either.

All these is just me.

I'm not concerned enough.

I knew i was alot behind, unlike other girls.

I knew i was not th perfect one.

Not th best.

I only hopes yooe will get nth much, but th best.

I'm sorry i couldn't give yooe those things yooe wanted.

While eating,

nothing were said.

Both kept quiet.

awaiting for each other to break th silence.

But there was still silence.

While walking together,

silence was observed.

No words were said either.

It's as if there's no topic to be said or to be discussed.

I knew it that something was wrong.

Be it it was sth said wrong by yooe or me,

be it it was false,

or be it to forget everything that was said earlier,

just by hearing it,

it hurts way more than it should have.

idk is it just me relying on yooe toos much that i tink i am impt in yooe,

or i am just trying to be funny.

I was stupid.

yooe knew that i would be stubborn & yooe gave in to me, as usual.

But knowing that it can't always be this way,

i'll try to learn how to give in in order to maintain it to be this way.

Believe i'll try.

Although i know that it's going to be a difficult path to take.

I always mantain a smile wherever i go.
Isn't that wat yooe always hope i would do?
I did it.
I smiled when i am happy.
I smiled when i got back my subjects i failed.
I smiled bravely even if i am crying.
I always told myself to maintain a smile.
& all th troubles will go away.
I kept tinking of that phrase & did so.
But, did i look happier all these while?
Did anyone saw mee crying?
I am always trying to hold back my tears from yooe, frens & even family.
Idk if it was a failure or a success but i tried. :D
I am proud of myself.
It was very difficult to do so.
Always keeping a smile by mee,
& using them to avoid bad things from occuring.

I hope to make everything th way it is now.

& hope nothing will change.
To me,
smilling makes others people think i'll be fine,
i'm alright,

i'm brave,

i'm happyy th way i'm now,
and everything is solved.

But behind my every smile,

what is it in me that makes me who i am?

Monday, September 14 || 17:33

Today is th 1st day of term 4.

it was okies, okies.

Went quite well.

SK BOUGHT 300g OF SWEETS TO SCKOL! :D

hahas.

I got back physics & a maths paper le.

Physics, i got 31/45.

G got 38/45 lo.

So good :D

For maths,

I got 22/25.

G got 23/25.

Edmund got 24/25.

Wat th f lo.

SOmemre he got th award for th el tingy.

Oh my gooood.

Unexpected. :B

idk why but feel quite tired.

Did chem practical today.

Okies it was fineee,

until after i over heat th chemical.

It spilled everywhr.

Luckily amanda ANG is not hurt,

but it burnt till my finger.

Wat th heck la.

I was like, "Hot, Hot, Hot!"

Lols.

Now eyes pain,

cause my room's lights sot sot.

Keeps on & off.

So i turned off th lights instead, cause it's irritating meee.

Gosh, ate lunch,

went xyzfor like 5 mins & went home le.

So tiring today.

Gosh, he got th cough.

Hope he's alright.

Rmb to drk mre water &

Take care of urself.

Get well soon, alrights? :D

Sunday, September 13 || 17:09

Yipee, there's no tution today so i slept late.

Until 830 plus.

Before climbing out of bed to bathe.

So fast,

th holiday is ending lerrs.

Tmr is back to scholl day liao.

Why time passes so fast?

Went to Toa Payoh to eat brkfast before heading to cut hair.

SIAN DIAO ._.

i cut my hair le,

idk about yooe,

but i tink i looks weird.

hahas.

On th left is th pic.

wakakakas. :B

The qenue was VERY long.

so while waiting,

i did a little on th maths ws: Linear Laws.

Walao lo.

Got "Ln".

Forgot how to do liao lo.

hehes.

Got to buck up sooon.

E-O-Y coming soon!

omg ._.

Soon,

went to J8.

went to library & i borrowed some fiction books.

yayy :D

I saw jack & qy.

But i don't tink they saw me though.

hehes.

Then went to KFC to eat,

i ordered wrongly.

Ordered too much.

But not to worry,

i gave my bro to eat.

wakakakas.

I couldn't finish, of course.

hahas.

Too much la.

Gosh, how to finish? :D

Went hm after eating.

bathe & done th chinese hw.

hahas,

so now i only left with geo & maths.

wakakakas.

yayy. :B

Saturday, September 12 || 16:10

I was so damn freaking worried about hym today.

He had to go to th hospital for dk for check-up report tingy.

I kept tinking & hope nth will go wrong.

Couldn't sleep & woke up at 730am in th mrng.

Worry, worrying, worried.

But everything turns out fine i guess,

doc said won't affect anything.

But i hope it won't worsen.

Pls don't that happen.

Went went back to sleep.

stayed up & did th homework.

So much to do.

Did chinese, el & is now half-way through geo.

dhun feel lky doing maths.

Seems tough.

Might be doing it later on bahhs.

hehes, lazyy. :B

yayy, there's no tution for meee tmr.

hurray, yippeeeeee!

hahas.

happyy, happyy. :D

Friday, September 11 || 14:03

I didn't know it will ends up this way.

I thought it was all well,

maybe it's until i wrote sth for that fren.

I know i shouldn't have.

Hence, causing such a big problem now.

Just didn't expect me to be so stupid & to forget write about 0809.

Maybe all this is just me.

Do yooe know what kind of person i'm now?

I always lie.

I'm always lying.

Lies, Lies, Lies.

This is what kind of person I'm.

Know th truth yet?!

I thought by just keeping silent,

pushing all blames onto myself,

shutting myself from th outside world, and

agreeing to everything, would be th solution.

Guess i'm wrong.

But so what?

This is what i'll do.

Ytd was th 1st tym i argued it back and not keeping silence about it.

I told myself i MUST swallow it all down,

But it was rly terrible to be accuse of sth i didn't do or even lied about it.

It was too F stuffed-up.

& before i knew it,

inside of me exploded.

It was uncontrolable.

It was DYING inside. D;

But does anyone knows?

NO!

Maybe all this doings is just me, ..

yepp, that must be it.

I tried my best to maintain th perfect way it is.

But it's all falling apart.

It's like placing th pieces of a puzzle.

From all th pieces that i had glued them together,

one by one,

they are all falling out to th orginal state it was.

Maybe it's just th glue,

it's not strong enough.

Oh, so it's time to buy a super duper sticky glue.

To ensure th pieces are glued together and will maintain th perfect state.

Later on,

i tried to call yooe and wanted to explain it out.

But when yooe called me & i heard ur voice,

idk why I just blanked out that moment & cried.
Although when i was crying,
i tried to make it not obvious.
I DON"T want to show how weak i was.
I DON"t want to let yooe know, so i kept quiet.

Today is no exception from yesterday toos,

started with a rough mrng.

went for ss remedial.

Must do essay lo,

cause must know th format & th skills required.

After remedial,

he came & met me.

didn't say anything much.

Got milk tea from hym.

dk why it was just silence before he asked me gng whr.

I said idk & i dhun wan to eat.

He gotta go at 12 noon le anyw.

To go out with his pri sckol frens.

Lols.

didn't knew what exactly was th prob.

just blurr out.

why, why why?

why suddenly i felt that we could not communicate like last tym.

I tried to talk or say things, but to yooe,

i am th one angry with sth.

Maybe i'm.

idk why just don't want to let yooe go.

idk why,

i tink is just mee tinking toos much le.

Just freaking blurr now.

As for tmr,

i'm worried.

idk whether tmr de issue is gonna be good or bad.

But it's gonna be prefectly fine.

whatever it is,

not to worry,

nth is gng to happen when i am here.

At least that what i tink only.

... Anyw,

take care tmr & yooe will be fine.

Don't worry.

Wednesday, September 9 || 21:24

Peekaboo! ^^

Today is th day,

we go to sci centre to take our 2nd & 3rd prize for th statisics project.

Woots~

Still can't believe it though. :B

hahas.

I am sooo excited that tym.

When we rch,

me, naka & nicole went to toilet.

Aiyo,

naka very troublesome lo.

Went toilet for 2 tym liao

Kept saying her skirt and shirt tingy.

Alamak!

just tuck in only marrs ._.

hahas.

But same ting happened to me toos.

hehes.

Anyw,

before th prize presentation.

Got lectures & talks 1st.

Quite long.

It was very quiet.

Quiet until,

"RINGRING"!

hahas.

Stephen's hp rang.

All th people looking at our sckol students lo.

Dhen i saw sk & mdm tan very paiseh.

hahas, up thr blushing! :D

When finally it's tym for prize presentation,

i was lyk shaking all th way lo.

So scared!

hahas.

I was th 1st somemre! :B

O.M.G lo!

hahas.

But it's okies,

all over le.

At least not over toos soon,

nxt week still must go on stage to take from th princple.

Despite me & naka's spirit to keep saying NO to it,

thr still a prize presentation. D;

waaaaaaaah~

After we took th prize,

We went to eat buffet.

yayy.

I was damn fraking happyy abt it lo.

ask & yooe will know~ :D

Anyw, we eat.

Then we very cutee de,

sk ate dk how many servings liao lo.

I tink 10+.

omg la.

I still tell mdm tan wan "da bao" ma?

hahas. :D

dhen i also says,

since buffet can stay till 7pm ma?

dhen can straight eat dinner + supper le.

then everyone thr laughing. :D

After eating, we went to a corner.

Cause it tym for .. .. * DRUM ROLL*

PHOTO-TAKING!

yayy.

We "bite" th medals.

hahas.

& took photos with th chers.

Mdm tan so cute.

Go and look at th photos. :B

After all that,

we headed back to sckol.

me & jimmy managed to get a ride from mdm tan.

THKS LOTS! :D

hahas.

today was so interesting,

except for th lecture part :p

Look at th photos from jimmy and yooe'll know.

wakakakakas! :B

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My friend,

I am sorry about what happened to you.

I hope yooe will promise to take good care of urself.

Starting from tmr,

learn to tell what's right & wrong.

i hope yooe will become a even better person when yooe are out. :D

I hope to still see yooe, happy happy & in one full & complete piece in 2011.

May th god bless yooe.

Take care. :B

Monday, September 7 || 13:44

i so bored at hm.

but thr's nth to do.

Studied & copied chem notes into notebk.

almost broke my hands & neck.

aching all over now.

arghhhhh!

He just finished his match.

i didn't ask too much.

idk is win or lose.

he told me,

he now gng eat then go hm le.

he'll so early go hm de meh?

Lols.

i tink he will go play bb.

idk, maybe only.

*yawn*

so tiring and boring to stay at hm sia.

Now i'm in my bro's account.

He leaving his acc on for his maple story game.

Lols.

Dhen i took th chance to blog lo.

I'm gng to change my blogskin soon.

This skin looks old le.

gosh, he's back.

Byes. :B

Sunday, September 6 || 19:46

oh, gosh.

I'm sooo not feeling well today lo.

Hope i can get well again before tuesday.

Haix.

Flu, pls quickly go away.

gosh, gosh.

Thr's still homework to be done,

chem to study,

and others.

omg.

Cnt slack for this one week holiday.

So rush.

Almost everyday not free le.

haix, haix.

Gotta go for dinner ltr with family & cousins.

gosh, my nose is so irritating.

Keeps on sniffing. D;

Friday, September 4 || 21:25

Today got chinese & E maths tests.

done it, that's all.

dhun want to say anymore.

Got back report book & ..

Failed chem & ss.

idk if this is th reason,

that i stayed up later than i normally do.

just to study for 3.5 hrs.

don't believe meee barrs.

Many don't toos.

Felt so stupid at 1st.

all my frens passed all & did alot better than me.

Couldn't seems to fit in with them.

haix.

dun want to talk about it le.

Had trng.

SOME1 was very late lo.

So loooong then come,

then come le just straight away play match liao.

wat th heck. :B

I was teamed up wif keith & a small boy.

We won 3 matches in a row!

yayy :B

Went hm abt 640pm bah.

He went to hougang mall to collect present for his cousin's birthday. :D

So tiring todayy.