“When you love someone, you just do. There are no maybes, no buts, and no whys.”
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Always Mantaining A Smile.
Saturday, September 19 || 13:41
"Just afraid of letting go, letting go", "just let go".
This song is rather,
affectionate.
No words could describle wat mee is feeling inside.
I miss my phone.
I miss everything.
Will it come to an end?
It seems to be becoming a trend now.
It's like, happening to everyone now.
I was just wondering,
whether we could be th next ones.
When we are strike,
please do not ever leave me.
I don't want all these things to EVER occurs.
Nope, i don't wish to.
Where am i when yooe needed me most?
Happily eating with friends.
Maybe it's just mee.
I'm sorry i wasn't there when i'm needed.
Somehow i could feel that yooe hopes i would be more like 'her'.
I dhun blame anyone, but myself.
i didn't put in enough effort.
i didn't do much either.
All these is just me.
I'm not concerned enough.
I knew i was alot behind, unlike other girls.
I knew i was not th perfect one.
Not th best.
I only hopes yooe will get nth much, but th best.
I'm sorry i couldn't give yooe those things yooe wanted.
While eating,
nothing were said.
Both kept quiet.
awaiting for each other to break th silence.
But there was still silence.
While walking together,
silence was observed.
No words were said either.
It's as if there's no topic to be said or to be discussed.
I knew it that something was wrong.
Be it it was sth said wrong by yooe or me,
be it it was false,
or be it to forget everything that was said earlier,
just by hearing it,
it hurts way more than it should have.
idk is it just me relying on yooe toos much that i tink i am impt in yooe,
or i am just trying to be funny.
I was stupid.
yooe knew that i would be stubborn & yooe gave in to me, as usual.
But knowing that it can't always be this way,
i'll try to learn how to give in in order to maintain it to be this way.
Believe i'll try.
Although i know that it's going to be a difficult path to take.
I always mantain a smile wherever i go.
Isn't that wat yooe always hope i would do?
I did it.
I smiled when i am happy.
I smiled when i got back my subjects i failed.
I smiled bravely even if i am crying.
I always told myself to maintain a smile.
& all th troubles will go away.
I kept tinking of that phrase & did so.
But, did i look happier all these while?
Did anyone saw mee crying?
I am always trying to hold back my tears from yooe, frens & even family.
Idk if it was a failure or a success but i tried. :D
I am proud of myself.
It was very difficult to do so.
Always keeping a smile by mee,
& using them to avoid bad things from occuring.
I hope to make everything th way it is now.
& hope nothing will change.
To me,
smilling makes others people think i'll be fine,
i'm alright,
i'm brave,
i'm happyy th way i'm now,
and everything is solved.
But behind my every smile,
what is it in me that makes me who i am?
