“When you love someone, you just do. There are no maybes, no buts, and no whys.”
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Friday, September 11 || 14:03
I didn't know it will ends up this way.
I thought it was all well,
maybe it's until i wrote sth for that fren.
I know i shouldn't have.
Hence, causing such a big problem now.
Just didn't expect me to be so stupid & to forget write about 0809.
Maybe all this is just me.
Do yooe know what kind of person i'm now?
I always lie.
I'm always lying.
Lies, Lies, Lies.
This is what kind of person I'm.
Know th truth yet?!
I thought by just keeping silent,
pushing all blames onto myself,
shutting myself from th outside world, and
agreeing to everything, would be th solution.
Guess i'm wrong.
But so what?
This is what i'll do.
Ytd was th 1st tym i argued it back and not keeping silence about it.
I told myself i MUST swallow it all down,
But it was rly terrible to be accuse of sth i didn't do or even lied about it.
It was too F stuffed-up.
& before i knew it,
inside of me exploded.
It was uncontrolable.
It was DYING inside. D;
But does anyone knows?
NO!
Maybe all this doings is just me, ..
yepp, that must be it.
I tried my best to maintain th perfect way it is.
But it's all falling apart.
It's like placing th pieces of a puzzle.
From all th pieces that i had glued them together,
one by one,
they are all falling out to th orginal state it was.
Maybe it's just th glue,
it's not strong enough.
Oh, so it's time to buy a super duper sticky glue.
To ensure th pieces are glued together and will maintain th perfect state.
Later on,
i tried to call yooe and wanted to explain it out.
But when yooe called me & i heard ur voice,
idk why I just blanked out that moment & cried.
Although when i was crying,
i tried to make it not obvious.
I DON"T want to show how weak i was.
I DON"t want to let yooe know, so i kept quiet.
Today is no exception from yesterday toos,
started with a rough mrng.
went for ss remedial.
Must do essay lo,
cause must know th format & th skills required.
After remedial,
he came & met me.
didn't say anything much.
Got milk tea from hym.
dk why it was just silence before he asked me gng whr.
I said idk & i dhun wan to eat.
He gotta go at 12 noon le anyw.
To go out with his pri sckol frens.
Lols.
didn't knew what exactly was th prob.
just blurr out.
why, why why?
why suddenly i felt that we could not communicate like last tym.
I tried to talk or say things, but to yooe,
i am th one angry with sth.
Maybe i'm.
idk why just don't want to let yooe go.
idk why,
i tink is just mee tinking toos much le.
Just freaking blurr now.
As for tmr,
i'm worried.
idk whether tmr de issue is gonna be good or bad.
But it's gonna be prefectly fine.
whatever it is,
not to worry,
nth is gng to happen when i am here.
At least that what i tink only.
... Anyw,
take care tmr & yooe will be fine.
Don't worry.
