“When you love someone, you just do. There are no maybes, no buts, and no whys.”

March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 August 2011 September 2011 March 2012 April 2012 August 2012 September 2012 February 2013 April 2013 June 2013 July 2013

It has always been like this. Well for the old, dumb and naive chee xiu zhen. Always saying "yes", "okie sure" to everything people requested or asked for. That's how I am. Following around, being neglected, trying my best to do everything for you, trying hard to gain your attention, trying every single time to blend and adapt in, waiting hours for you, didn't want to see you cause when I do i will want to see you more and do not want to leave.

But today, I asked myself. Why am I doing all these for? Why do I feel like I'm the only dumb and stupid one doing all these? Why am i following around like a dog? Why am I putting someone so important to me as my priority when I'm not theirs? What is the point? Do they understand what I've been through, no I don't so. If they do, they wouldnt did what they knew would hurt to me.

Promises broken, are like scars that never heal. Again, again and again non-stop promises have been breaking. To the point that I see promises as a hollow shell to words. They are nothing but useless words to assure someone that they won't repeat their mistakes ONLY AT THAT POINT OF TIME. But to me, it no longer works on me because I don't believe in those sweer-talking craps and shits anymore. I NO LONGER TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE.

I see no point striving so hard for you. From now on, I'm just gonna live my life like how I want to control it. It's up to you to keep up or go. Cause I'm not like you, disregarding me like a thing. I gave you the freedom to choose. It's time to distance ourselves away, to see how much I really meant to you. If I do matter, you will notice me. If I don't, then I will know how much I stand in your heart.